Posts

Showing posts from 2009
Some days I wish I could dig a whole and just crawl inside....
Really missing family today. We didn't go anywhere at all just stayed home. Felt somewhat lonley, felt kinda sad. We need to create our own traditions here but it's just tough right now.

Here's to hoping the holidays go quickly.

Giving Thanks

What can I say about Thanksgiving day? This has, hands down, been one of my all- time favorite holiday’s my entire life. Over the last few years this has been more of a difficult one though being away from my family. I come from a pretty large family when you get down to counting the actual numbers. Both of my parents had a slew of brothers and sisters who also had 4-5 kids of their own and so on for the rest of them.

As far back as I can remember on Wednesday night we would pack up the car once dad got home from work and drive out to Holland for his side of the family. Along the road there was always this little hill in the middle of the highway and knowing how this was what I loved my dad would floor it as we got to this hill so you could get that stomach dropping feeling. All night we would sit with his side of the family, doing our Christmas as well at the same time, playing with my cousins, cuddling up to my Grandfather and listening to my aunts gossip. We would get home pretty l…

Couple more thoughts

So yesterday I went on some little tirade about a few things, so here are some more thoughts today.

Lot's of recent changes to guidelines for women. Changing when we should have a routine mammograms, and then today it's announced about changing the pap smears. Now, I am not a big doctor person, I don't like to go. Actually haven't been there for 3 years now that I think about it,however, I don't think it's smart to start changing these guidelines. I read today on CNN that out of every 1,000 women ages 40-49 that get their mamo 2 will be diagnosed with breast cancer. I know in this day and age money seems to run everything, but I bet if you ask those 2 women if this was important to have done they would agree it is.

These days women are finding cancers on their own in their twenty's..but wait, we're not supposed to do those pesky BSE's or breast self exams. After all, it's better that the Dr. we see every what 3 years feel around to see if they ca…

Some Pet Peeves

Image
So in the spirit of being irritated with people these days let me just run down just a few of the pet peeves that drive me up the wall.

Smokers that stand IN FRONT OF THE DOOR. Okay, I know I am in a northern climate so it's cold sometimes. But seriously, I do no appreciate walking in and out of hockey with smokers standing at the door working on their lung cancer. And of course when I am walking into a store or out to eat and I have to walk through the puff of toxic air..thanks people. I find this extremely rude and just disgusting. Before I place all of the blame on these individuals that are just as content to share their cancerous activities with the rest of us, I should look to the establishment that places the smoking receptacles directly IN FRONT OF THE DOOR!! You people should be ashamed that the first experience someone has with your location is this. But again, this state does not have any limits on how far these bins need to be from a door. Shame on you Wisconsin!

Okay I …

Failed

The word fail is defined as:
1. To fall short of success or achievement in something expected, attempted, desired, or approved.
2. To be or become deficient or lacking; be insufficient or absent; fall short
3. To lose strength or vigor; become weak

Well that sort of sums it up. I prefer to think of my weekend in terms of #1. I know that in order to succeed sometimes we must fail, but it really sucks. Especially when you put a lot of work into it and prepare for so long to accomplish something, falling short just isn’t acceptable.

People that know me know that I am competitive and I don’t like doing something if I am not good at it. This is probably why I hated piano so much, never continued in soccer and have not downhill skied since I was 21. Running is not my strongest skill, sure I can sprint from here fast – even if I haven’t done it in a while I am sure I am still pretty quick. But any distance to the run and I struggle, which is why I have been getting up at 515 in the morning to hop…

So much.

So after an embarrassing loss to the Milwaukee team it was time for the party. Seemed like a decent enough time but we are just not party people so we didn’t stay too long. Long enough to see people were getting drunk and loud which is our clue to take off. Ended up home around 1030 or something. Such party poopers.

Sunday we caught the UW Women’s hockey game in an awesome, awesome performance by the team. They are starting to come together nicely – which does take time when you have a new group working together. But it’s nice to take a team like that and see that they can struggle, they can have issues but you know they are working their butts off during the week to bring it all together. Having been a student-athlete I know how much sacrifice goes into those games. You have to give up a certain part of the “college experience” to focus on your sport. Granted the payoff is traveling to other locations and getting certain perks by being an athlete, but it’s tough.

Sunday night we had ou…

Looking ahead

Running…I really hate running… but every morning my alarm clock rings at 515 so I can drag myself to the basement and hop on the treadmill. The only company I have each day is my cat who slinks around chasing his spiders or other creatures of the basement that I would prefer not to think about. My motivation is the PT test for the PD coming up in just 20 days, the Ironman in 3 years, the fact that I USED to be able to run much faster/farther, and perhaps a little to prove to Loni that I CAN do it like I said I would. I refuse to let something like a run stand between what I want to do and what I can do.

I will be honest; I am terrified by this test. The last time I did a PT test for a PD was when I was 23 years old. I was in tip top shape; I had everything going for me. I didn’t realize then just how bad I wanted it – I know you need to get to a point to recognize this but dammit why wasn’t I paying attention?! When I am running I think about all my friends that are currently officers…

Nightmare

Last night I had a dream…actually it was a nightmare. In my dream my father died, and just like many dreams it felt real, gut-wrenching, and full of every emotion that I would expect if this truly did happen. In fact when I woke up it took me a little while to realize that this didn’t happen. On the way to work I had to actually call him just to make sure he was okay and everything was fine. But in reality this is something that terrifies me, I am always afraid of this phone call. My father is not getting any younger, at 73 is he a really active guy, seems quite healthy and things appear to be going quite well. But on the other hand he IS 73, has had a quadruple bypass almost 4 years ago now and is really starting to slow down. I think I worry because they are in MI for part of the year and Florida so if something were to happen they are not close by. Also I worry if they need more longer/skilled care how will I manage living at the closest point 5 hours away.

I know that these are na…

I think I am getting sick

So it's the change of the season, it's the flu season, it's everything season right now and I think I am coming down with something. I actually stayed home from work today because of this but we'll have to see how that goes. Of course this always happens during hockey season...

Speaking of hockey (that was such a great transition don't you think?) Both leagues are now underway. I got my team assignment today for MGHA and it looks as though I am on blue this year, what a change to the last 2 years always having a reddish color. Anyway, I have a decent team that gives a lot of feedback so I am pretty excited about that. My other league the Sun Prairie Rage got going last wed and we actually have our first 2 games this coming weekend. Feels like I was just on the ice with my team but that is what hockey is all about.

I am also back into the swing of things again with the UW Women's Hockey team, they had their first series this past weekend and spit with 1 win a piec…

share

share

Posted using ShareThis

Change is Good!

So as you may have noticed, I have changed the name of my blog…my old title is just old and doesn’t really fit anymore as I am no longer up at midnight to have dreams or aspirations (unless it's behind my eyelids) :O) Half-Pint is just a more fitting name.

Things have been crazy in the week since Loni’s return home. In between our trips to Chicago, her getting sick and hockey season beginning we have begun to eat healthier & pay more attention to being active. Yesterday I made a purchase, originally intended to be a Christmas gift, but hey why not NOW. Anyway, I got Nike + shoes & a sports band. The purpose of this is to help me be a little more accurate in my training so I can achieve my goals. With the pt test for the police department just over 1 month away I need to buckle down and get running. Although having hockey 2 nights per week is great, it’s just not running which I am not good at and need some motivation to do.

Okay so I was able to find the shoes on sale 69.99…

Anniversary, Funhouse, Harry Potter,Chicago & the Flu

Image
Cover of Dear Mr. PresidentHard to see all of those things listed together and have a smile come to my face. This weekend we celebrated our 9 year anniversary which itself is an awesome thing. We chose to see a Pink concert in Chicago and visit the Harry Potter exhibit at Museum of Science & Industry at the same time. Might sound kind of lame but this was the first time we have gone away from the boys, overnight, together. We have not taken a vacation in almost 9 years so this was a huge thing for us. 1 night might not seem like a lot but it was a big thing in our house.

Anyway, we met some friends at the exhibit and it really was a good time - had some lunch and made our way over to the hotel to freshen up before the concert. Oh did I mention that Loni had the flu? Slight complication that would change our trip slightly but we dealt with it. We met our friend Karen at her hotel and rode together to the concert. WHAT AN AMAZING SHOW - from the moment she took the stage to the momen…

It's Iron Baby

Image
I spent today watching and cheering on the athletes during the Ironman WI. I was down there almost the entire day with 2 short trips home to let the dogs out. For those that don't know, the Ironman consists of 2.4mile swim, 112 mile bike, and 26.2 mile run. The event started at 7am and ends at midnight. When I was watching the swimmers coming out from stage 1 it was something I found quite emotional. It was strange to have such a reaction to an event I have never had a tie to until today. This moment, right now. I remember being a kid and watching Ironman in Kona mesmerized by these people, I remember saying - I would love to do that someday. Flash forward to today, I was there to cheer on a friend, cheer on some random people and enjoy a great day. 3 years ago another friend of mine completed the Ironman and I look at that tattoo on her leg and think - I wonder if I ever could.

So of course at some point during those first 3 hours I was going to add this to my life to-do list. I …

ugh

ugh is my new favorite word, it apply's to just about everything these days. I have been betrayed by someone I thought wouldn't ever do that because they felt the same way. Apparently I was wrong on this.

So now I am not only uncomfortable, but terrified because of the repercussions this can have. This hurts, it smarts, and just again reminds me of why I don't trust people. I can't, it get's me in trouble. I can only rely on me and small group of select people.

When is the last time you were betrayed? Did it hurt worse because it was someone you thought you could trust?

Why can't things just go okay? Why can't they just flow along like normal people do? Why is everything a fight?

Recap of Act 7

It's been a while since Act 7 but I figured I need to update with a few stories, it was another amazing journey for me, filled with laughter, tears and crazy stories. Here is a short list of some of the things that happened:

Jenn: Is that a tree? DJ: o it’s a stick farm (I blame lack of oxygen)
Bee Sting - on the first day,within the first 10 miles actually
Falling off a cliff- don't ask
Going to the All-you-could-ever-need gas station for food with DJ, Cal & Loni
DJ eating leftover fried chicken while riding on century day
Michelle’s undercarriage - funniest quote about how riding can hurt
Meow at the cow- yeah I totally forgot the MOOO part
The 10 bugs I ate as nutrition - no kidding, they helped!

Great ride again!!

Well Worth The Trip

Last week I went home, for what I believe was my 4th trip since moving out to WI. The reason for the trip was twofold, 1. after Loni’s mom died she really felt that I should go spend more time with my father. 2. An old friend was coming to town from NJ and we have not seen each other in over 10 years so it was a great chance to catch up. I really don’t think that the trip could have gone any better than it did.

Thursday I arrived just after lunch (to a nice veggie sub by the way) and we were able to sit around, eat some yummy black cherries and then left for Grand Rapids to the Whitecaps game. My dad and I had a chance to chat the entire time, to reminisce about his days playing ball in the Army, how Grandpa would have never let him play pro (since they play on Sundays) and how much my dad was starting to say things just like his dad did. It was the best part of the trip was sitting there for that ball game, chatting over a couple of beers.

Friday was a nice slow start to the morning, …

Pardon me while I vent

I don't usually like to vent away but I am irritated, exhausted and just all-around grr this morning so I am going to vent.

I was up until about 3am today, why you might ask? Oh because Loni was out with her sister until just after 2am. I guess for the most part I don't care, that's not the point. Initally it was Loni leaving at 830 to go out for a drink or two where Jess had dinner, so I thought hour or two tops she would be home. So imagine my surprise when 2 hours later I find out that they are going to an additional location, a strip club no less, all I asked was not to be out too late since I need to be up at 630 and don't drink too much and drive. Since the dogs don't like it when we are not both home they start to bark at every sound they hear thinking the other person is home. So they had been doing this for a few hours making it impossible for me to get any sleep. At 1am I finally messaged asking if it was going to be much longer since I was not getting any…

Sometimes remembering the dead is more important than tending to the needs of the living

Well that's how it was the last couple of nights. We were looking at pictures of you the last few nights, some made us laugh, many made us cry. Mostly we still remembered that we really miss you. And with the impending visit this weekend we know that a part of you will be coming home to stay with us. When I went into the basement yesterday I noticed that your coat, jeans, shirt & shoes are still in the bag from the hospital, we don't know what to do with them. It's like you will be coming back in a little bit to pick them up. I wonder if you know how much we think about you, or talk about you or wonder if you are watching us.

So, this weekend we will take a lot of pictures, I am sure we will have some laughs, but for each of us, we will notice you are not here. We will miss your laughter, in that way that was so distinctive. I will shoot a lot of pictures because now I realize just how important that is. And when I go home in 2 weeks I will take some more of my family,…

Give me strength

Image
Image by dhammza via FlickrThe shit just seems to continue to rain down on us. It has not stopped since March, and every time I think we are starting to have a turnaround here comes something else. I haven't posted anything in a while not because I don't have anything to say but because I just don't know how to put my feelings out there. I feel like I am having to hold it all together for us, to keep us both looking forward, to keep trying to motivated. But I am tired. I am worn down. We just need things to start going good for us, not against us.
I just need to find the strength to keep my head up, to know it's not me that she is upset with, it's what is going on and I happen to be close by. In just a few weeks I will jump back on the bike for the Act ride, I haven't trained at all. There has just been too much going on. 4 days to be out there again...away for a while...each mile alone...sometimes that's a great thing. Even when you are riding 300 miles.

Feels like yesterday

I can't believe it's been almost 3 months since Loni's mom died. To be honest it still doesn't seem real. I keep waiting for her to call, and sometimes when we do something ridiculous I can still hear her laugh - that smoky chuckle that she had.

Yesterday a friend of hers had to take her mom into the hospital, we call her mom La. Anyway, La ended up in ICU, intubated, mild heart attack and pneumonia. Reading Nancy's posts yesterday made everything that we went through with mom seem like it was yesterday...just too similar. The big difference is that she got to talk to her La and it looks like she might get out in the next day or so. This is awesome news..and it also makes me sad. Why didn't we get that chance? Why couldn't we talk to her?

This is how life is supposed to be, the ups and downs, sorrow and joy. It's just hard, and it feels like yesterday.

Bad things always come in three's

So today Loni lost her job, "due to the economy" in a budget cut sweep they say. Great. Fabulous. Wonderful.
Of course the first things that go through my mind are

1. How will we pay the mortgage
2. No more health insurance (damn my job for not having domestic partner benefits)
3. How will we pay the mortgage
4. Will we have to give up hockey?
5. Damn her work for doing this
6. Damn, Damn, Damn
7. Shit, Shit, Shit
8. What do we do?

So, now that we have all that out, we are taking it in stride. She has 1 months worth of pay, some really good legal connections and there is always unemployment.
So they say bad things come in threes...
1. Grandpa died in Sept.
2. Mom died in March
3. Loni loses job in June.

Okay universe, we have taken the 3 hits, can we please, please, get something to start going in our favor? I know things happen for a reason, I know this means something, I know I should see the sign.
I'm looking!

Signs

Do you believe in signs? Messages or directions sent to you buy “someone” that lead you in the direction you are supposed to go?

Funny litany of events has happened over the past couple of days that has me thinking someone is trying to tell me something. Friday I hit my threshold of what I could tolerate at the moment and was feeling really down about my life, well my job rather. I spent the majority of my day relaying this information to 2 people that I trust, one that seems to “get” me and really does understand how I “tick” and the other that has known me over 25 years. Just seeking some advice, some counsel, something to say yes you can, or you’re an idiot…something.

What kind of sparked this was a feeling that I am just unsatisfied with what I do for a living, still questioning my desire to be a police officer. It’s been a nagging thing in the pit of my stomach for months; well if I am honest it’s been years. I play softball with almost an entire team of cops as well, which has had…

blah blah blah

So I am on my lunch right now and although I would prefer to be reading I have too many thoughts to get out of my head. First and probably the most ridiculous is my elbow. It’s been so bad recently (meaning the last 6 months or so) and I finally broke down and set up an appointment with my dr. to take a look at it. What that means I have no clue, but I can’t stand it, it consumes my every waking moment, I just can’t tolerate it anymore – I give up!

Work is frustrating – I know, I know, what else is new with me. I just get so bored & I don’t like repetition all that much. Not to mention the evaluation of what I do, don’t get me wrong, I think evaluation is important and necessary. But when it’s not done in a constructive and supportive way it’s worthless to me.

Some of this might also stem from the fact that we have been hanging out with a couple recently that we really enjoy. Both are upbeat & active & just as crazy as we are and it’s such an easy friendship without stupid…

Makes Me Sad

I just don’t know what I need to say anymore to help you understand. How every time you berate me on this topic it really hurts me, simply because it does mean a lot to me. Every comment, every snide remark just makes the cut a little deeper. I try to make sure that I do not spend too much time away that I am not involved in too much. I try to make sure that you understand my priority is with you. But I believe in certain thing, I believe in what I am doing. Can’t you understand that? Don’t you see that even though it takes me away from you I feel better for it?
You tell me you want me to be able to have “my time” yet it seems like that is only when it is convenient for you. When it doesn’t interfere with something you want. As long as you are working, or as long as you have other plans then it is okay.

Sadly, when I try to tell you that it is more than just a “meeting” you just dismiss that and tell me it’s stupid. It hurts. Makes me feel like what I am doing, how hard I am working t…

I know it's friday but....

Restless
Bored
Listless
Frustrated
Irritated
Ugh, that is how I sum everything up these days. I am losing my interest in many things, well mainly where I work right now. I just get bored to easily, it’s sad really. I have a good job, but I am growing bored with it, with the monotonous functions. Granted, I get to talk to people for a living and not many people get to say that. I just get bored when I do the same thing over and over. That’s why I like working for companies that offer me the ability to learn new things, or move around a little more.
I don’t know, just irritating.
Sick of people not keeping their commitments, sick of people that are disrespectful to others. I am sick of people referring to others like they are a possession.
Perhaps I just need a break from certain people in my life, a chance to re-evaluate why certain people are in my life. Be a little bit more picky to who I allow around me to surround me with their baggage and issues. We all carry around our own “stuff” good…

Back to Reality

So it’s been a while since I have posted on here. Not that I don’t have anything to share, but I think that my thoughts are having a mind of their own these days. The last month has been difficult, it has been emotional, it has been trying, it has brought me closer to those that I care about, it has changed my perspectives.

Last week Thursday I loaded up the truck, packed in 2 teammates and drove out to Toronto Canada. We played 4 games from Friday night to Sunday morning and then made the trip back to Madison. We had a great time, we played a lot of hockey which always equals a great time in my book. Toronto was a wonderful city, there was always something to look at and watch. Even going out to dinner was a wonderful experience. This weekend was much needed in my book, after the month I have had I just needed to get away, to be in a new environment and see something new. The only thing that was really missing was Loni. Granted we didn’t know in January when I was getting my passpor…

Medical Professionals

I will never forget the faces of those that were with us over the last week. I might not remember names a few years from now, but I might. I will never forget Keri staying past her shift day after day just to make sure everything was okay. And when she came into the room to let us know we could see her, how she broke down saying "I'm so sorry we couldn't save her" I knew she did try her best. I knew we were more than just any family, she did everything she could. And her Dr. how she would be honest and frank with us, even when it was hard to hear, she told us what we needed to hear - not wanted to hear. When she walked out and told us "I'm sorry, we lost her. She is gone" my heart shattered. It felt like all of the oxygen was sucked out of the room at that moment.

They say when you experience crisis like this and are in the medical profession it makes you better. When Doctors are patients they understand the value of bedside manner, when they are the fa…

Sorrow

I don't know if I can cry anymore right now. I don't know what words to say. I always expected to be the one losing one of my parents first, especially after my dad's open heart surgery. I never thought at her age we would be dealing with this. I have known her for 8.5 years, and she has always treated me like one of her kids. She has been more of a mom to me than my own mother. I don't know how I am supposed to feel, I was introduced as a daughter-in-law, that's just what I am. Reminds me of how much can change in an instant. Some people do not get second chances, they can't save everyone like they do in ER. Dr. House was not walking around ready to solve the problem. Sometimes people do not recover, they don't come back to us. I am thankful for my friends, especially the come up to the hospital and just be there kind, or the drop some soup on your front porch while your not home kind.Just reminds me not to take my life for granted, not to take those I lov…

In a second

In a second life can change. drastically.
in a second,the phone can ring and everything you know is now unknown.

life is so precious, treat it that way. hug more, love more, fight less, hold tight to those you care about. Take a long, hard look at how you live your life, make those hard choices.

Standing by again, watching life being held in the balance between okay, and detriment. Watching a family struggle, cope, fall apart, try to keep it together. Watching a mother, wife, daughter, sister struggle with her life. Its the balance. Too far one way or the other can be major, in a second, life can change.

When i saw her fly over us on Med Flight I knew we were in trouble. When I had friends from the organ teams call me to say they knew, and they were watching, I knew we were in trouble. They don't know, the family that is, what the doctors are really saying. They hear "it was a quite night" must mean it's good, they hear "if she makes it out of this" must mean …

Ahh the good 'ole days

Now that I am a UW Women's Hockey superfan I can't help but remember my good old days of college. I went to a Division II school that had a lot of Division I sports teams, (including hockey..why the heck wasn't i watching it then huh??) but anyway, I was on the track team for my university. I remember the fridays that we would have to wear our uniforms to class because we were leaving by noon to drive the rest of the day and sometimes into the night to make our meets. We would be gone saturday, some of Sunday before we got home. Because our team was pretty decent, we would be focouse all year, including summer breaks. I remember the binders worth of workouts that we had to do each day of break...do not show up to camp before school not ready. Your scholarship depended on that.
I remember my freshman year making it to the NCAA II indoor championships at University of Michigan. I remember the pride I had in being a college athleat at that moment. Student athleats give up so m…

A local hero is brought home

I saw something this morning that stopped me in my tracks. I was driving into work and I could see 4 cop cars with their lights on, a limo and a hearse. Instantly I remembered reading about a local soldier, Sgt. Daniel Thompson, that had died in Afghanistan, I also remembered that his funeral was tomorrow…they were coming to the airport to pick him up. I looked at the airport and saw that flag flying high, the soldiers already there to help a hero go home. Without realizing it I noticed I had tears streaming down my face, and for that moment he was my hero too. I thought back to when I was told I was being activated after September 11th, I think about all my buddies that have gone over, some coming home, some did not return. I wonder what it would have been like if I went over there. Would I have returned home? Would I have been a hero too? When I was discharged, although honorably, my single guilt was that I didn’t serve overseas with my brothers and sisters in arms. My one regret in…

Lost

I really don’t know how to make it work anymore. I don’t know how I can be what you want me to be, and you can be what I need you to be. I used to think we had it all, we had it better. I know you are upset, I know I am upset. What do we do? Where do we go? How do we get around this?
Somewhere we fell into this little routine, even though neither one of us likes it. How do we fix that? What do we do?
Do you notice when I cry? I know when you are upset, you stop talking to me, you are distant. Like you are now
It’s silly really, the reason that we fight. Do we spend too much time together? Is it because we just want spring and summer here so badly we are hardly surviving the winter?
Will we survive each other? Can we?
So what is the next step, what do we do from here?
Would it matter to you if I wasn’t here anymore? Would you rather I am just gone?
Do I intentionally upset you just to get something out of you? Some type of acknowledgement from you? Some kind of emotion?
I miss a lot of thin…

Lost

I really don’t know how to make it work anymore. I don’t know how I can be what you want me to be, and you can be what I need you to be. I used to think we had it all, we had it better. I know you are upset, I know I am upset. What do we do? Where do we go? How do we get around this?
Somewhere we fell into this little routine, even though neither one of us likes it. How do we fix that? What do we do?
Do you notice when I cry? I know when you are upset, you stop talking to me, you are distant. Like you are now
It’s silly really, the reason that we fight. Do we spend too much time together? Is it because we just want spring and summer here so badly we are hardly surviving the winter?
Will we survive each other? Can we?
So what is the next step, what do we do from here?
Would it matter to you if I wasn’t here anymore? Would you rather I am just gone?
Do I intentionally upset you just to get something out of you? Some type of acknowledgement from you? Some kind of emotion?
I miss a lot of thin…

Inner Child Screaming??

Ever since I was a kid I was always doing things for attention and to be someone that would stand out. I found a lot of that through my sports and the successes I had there would always fulfill that part of me. But the other thing that I so desperately wanted was friends, real friends. Well I always wanted that “best friend” that everyone else had. So often I was drawn by the popular girls, the ones that wouldn’t spit on me if I was on fire type. I would allow them to use me and treat me very poorly yet I kept coming back. I was never as pretty, never really interested in the guys (oh would I would give to have known a few things back then) and my parents would not buy me all the “cool” clothes that their parents did. I was tormented by why they would not like me, why I was not good enough and what I needed to do to be one of them.

I figured as an adult I would outgrow those feelings and not have the same anxieties about friends as I grew up. Last night it dawned on me that I have the…

blah

I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. Not sure how to put a finger on it anymore. In a funk or something. Not sure how to get over it.

Just DO it

So I decided 2 posts in 1 day is not too much. I have a lot to say at the moment. Excuses, ugh, I am so sick of excuses. I am sick of my own excuses, don't get me wrong, I might hate everyone else's but I need to point the finger right back at myself as well. I just cannot surround myself with people that take the short way around things because they are simply lazy people. Believe me, it takes one to know one. I can be quite a lazy person, in fact why am I writing this instead of working out? First thing that comes to my mind? An excuse.So, get off your ass, stop being lazy and JUST DO SOMETHING!

Hello world..yes I am still here

So it’s been a while since I have posted anything on here. Not that I don’t have anything to share but again I don’t have the time/energy to relay things. I am still trying to find the rhythm lately to get things together, too many meetings, commitments other stuff just takes priority. I am actually at a point for the Act ride that I am debating if I want to stay on the steering committee. I love helping plan the ride and getting mentors all set up for people, but between the MGHA, my EMS stuff and general life I just don’t have the time anymore. But how crappy is it to drop in Feb when the ride is in Aug? I don’t know, I just can’t hang it up but I know I need to let something go. We will be starting Eskrima soon as well which is awesome but again 2 nights a week, then there is more hockey coming this summer.

The MGHA has been super stressful recently, we have had some board members leave and new ones join but for some reason I feel like we are spinning out of control. I am trying t…

A Day of Hope

Today we saw the 44th President of the United States. I have seen a few presidents sworn in during my life but today was different, today I feel like he is MY president. This was the guy I really believed in, this is the one that stands for rights deserved by all Americans.

I felt the Goosebumps, the lump in my throat, the pride on my face. There is a change, there is hope, and it’s on the horizon. I hope this brings hope and justice to all, not just a select group anymore.

Hope in is the air…can you feel it?

Ever wonder?

Do you ever think people from your past might remember you enough to say that you impacted their life in some way? Some days, kind of like today, when it's rough, it's nice to hear that you made a difference in someone's life. Who's has touched your life? Have you told them?