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Showing posts from April, 2013

Depression

Work is horrible, well not work but my job. It impacts how I sleep, how I eat, how I just want to curl up in a hole and cry. Every day I am physically ill from walking into this place, the atmosphere is toxic.

I need to get out of here soon before I completely disappear.

You took the words right out of my mouth

Well I wish I could take back a few words. Things I said that were more about trying to hurt than what I was meaning to say. Things are a mess for me right now with work being my daily living nightmare and it is just consuming my life. I am absolutely miserable.
I love martial arts, I do, but I am certainly not the best in my class. L is amazing at karate and excels so easily. I am used to doing things because I am so good at them. I admit I am jealous.
I am so jealous that L is so good, and is testing for Black Belt in July. I think it upset me when she first tasked someone else in class to hold the pads for her & partner with her during the test and not me. Deep,down I understand its so I can take pictures & watch the test but it would have been nice to be asked. I did finally say something but that really hurt.
Sometimes I would just like a pat on my back too. I feel there has been so much focus recently on L and how she isn't challenged enough & needs something m…

How do you say goodbye?

A good friend was brought back into the hospital this week...seems her cancer is spreading like wildfire. They found it in her brain this week.
How do we say goodbye to her?
We have not stepped foot in that hospital since my MIL died.
She is much too young to go through this...

Last year her doctor told her to see the things she wanted to see or go the places she wanted to see..and she didn't even have that chance. She has been too sick since the diagnosis to even travel.

I just cannot say goodbye.

Love this!

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Here is my new favorite song...new favorite voice etc. Sara Ramirez is just amazing and this song is so perfect for her voice. I won't mention that it is a cover song that just blows away the original.

Enjoy :)

A Good Man in a Storm

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I am a little late to watching the show Grey's Anatomy but I have fallen head-over-heals for this show. I remember loving some of the other medical drama shows, but none like this is so long. I am especially drawn to the story of Dr. Callie Torez and Dr. Arizona Robbins. Maybe that is like stating the obvious but really I can feel their relationship the strongest. Maybe I expected the usually perfect hollywood gay couple storyline, and in some ways I am not surprised by some of it. Even the L Word tried pulling off "normal" relationships. Of course they failed terribly but I figured it would be similar.

Episode 5 of Season 6 was especially touching for me and it has been playing in my mind a lot. Callie essentially introduces the love of her life to her father and he brings in the priest. Great line where she throws up her hands and says "You can't pray away the gay" it was completely how the interactions with my parents are. Including the quoting the bible…