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Showing posts from March, 2011

I need to runaway

I am so tired...haven't slept well recently, so much on my mind. I took a short bath last night just to try and sort everything out in my head. How do you wrap your head around the fact that most of the stuff that you knew about where you came from was built on lies and you are essentially starting over. How do you wrap your head around 33 years as an only child and now you have brothers - at least 1 that wants to know you. That you were just dropped off to family and picked up 8 months later only to be sent out for adoption?!
As a wise friend said, just to take 1 thing at a time - easier said than done though. My head and my heart are doing flip-flops.

2 Years

2 years ago we said goodbye to Deb. 2 years ago we saw part of the family fall. It's been an emotional week for me with everything going on and to have this anniversary now just adds to it.

Deb, we miss you more than words can say, every day. We miss that smoky laugh, those early morning garage sale shopping trips. We just miss you Deb.

Emotions

I have had a lot of emotions about the letter I received on Wednesday. Yesterday I sat at work and wrote 3 drafts to a letter that I was going to send in reply. Everything seemed so odd and strange. That was until I decided to use trusty facebook. I looked up the name of the woman that had contacted me and everything is there, it all matches. This entire 2nd family of mine that let me go 33 years ago is right there. Pictures of the boys that I know are my brothers, pictures of aunts, uncles & cousins that I have never met.
Reading Kathy’s entries (this is my birth mother, so much easier that saying my birthmother every time) remind me of the circumstances to which I was born. A family that was not highly educated mostly earned a living by working in factories and just didn’t get far away from that small town. The boys are both in the military, and I hope they get a chance to get out and see the world and experience those things that I have. I wonder if they know abo…

Suprise in the mailbox

Today I came home to find a letter to me in the mail. Much to my shock it is from someone in my birth family. They say they are my Aunt & have not been allowed to contact me until now. Apparently there are members of the family that want to meet me.
It's been 2 1/2 years since Helen died and I thought this connection to them was gone.
I am speechless...not sure what to do.

My Furbaby

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Yesterday was vet visit day in our house. That means 10 min of very loud and excited barking, leashes pulling, tails wagging like crazy. And don't forget the cats that seem to scatter to the four winds when their cages come out. But away we all went at 7am.

Most of these visits are no big deal and we get a call around 3pm that they will be ready for pick up when we are done with work. But, they called before noon yesterday, and it seems my Jersey- the oldest of my two Rat Terriers at 10, is a little sicker than we knew.
Jersey has developed a heart murmur, and also has an enlarged heart. This is not a death sentence for him and I know he has a lot of life yet to live but it makes you stop for a moment. He will be on heart medication for the rest of his life now, and we will need to take extra steps for him to get off the extra weight.

We did decide yesterday that we are getting a small pool for the back yard this summer so we can continue his water exercise. This seemed to help ov…

I got nothin

I don't really have much to say.  Hockey season is pretty much over, we have our wonderful fun tournament next weekend and then it's time to step off the ice for a little bit. Sounds like I might not have a summer spot for hockey so I might be taking a longer break than I wanted - but it happens.

Looks like I am going to begin the application process for my masters degree. I hope to start fall sometime which will allow me to enjoy the summer and get outside running more. Then it's time to buckle down and get it done.

Family

I had a chance to see, for the first time this weekend just how strong family could be.  I think for the first time in my life I will actually miss family, and wish I could see them more. 
It was nice to chat with some cousins that I have not seen in many, many years & find that as adults we have a much different connection than we did in our younger years. It was nice to truly be treated like family. It was sad that my folks couldn't make it back in time but in a way I think it would have been a much different experience for me.
I truly felt the love of family this weekend.