Creeping up on the big 4-0
Wow...almost 40 already?! Where does life fly away to when you are not paying attention? I have had a lot floating through my mind as I spend the last 15 days of my 30's looking back on what has all happened in my life and I have made some decisions. As an adoptee there are things that I didn't know I did or realize about myself until recently. The way that I tend to push others away always fearing they will leave me first. The way I put up barriers around myself so others cannot hurt me- not willing to trust too easily or not believing that a person is genuine. And, when someone does something that hurts me or pulls away from me I usually comment about how I expected as much. I have spent too much time in my life wondering about, wishing for and hoping that my bio mother would come around. 20 years I have tried to have conversations or a connection that I so desperately thought I wanted or needed. Something clicked for me this week, I don't need her- and frankly, if y
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