Looking ahead
Running…I really hate running… but every morning my alarm clock rings at 515 so I can drag myself to the basement and hop on the treadmill. The only company I have each day is my cat who slinks around chasing his spiders or other creatures of the basement that I would prefer not to think about. My motivation is the PT test for the PD coming up in just 20 days, the Ironman in 3 years, the fact that I USED to be able to run much faster/farther, and perhaps a little to prove to Loni that I CAN do it like I said I would. I refuse to let something like a run stand between what I want to do and what I can do.
I will be honest; I am terrified by this test. The last time I did a PT test for a PD was when I was 23 years old. I was in tip top shape; I had everything going for me. I didn’t realize then just how bad I wanted it – I know you need to get to a point to recognize this but dammit why wasn’t I paying attention?! When I am running I think about all my friends that are currently officers, especially the ones here in Madison. They all know I am testing, and I don’t want to look like a fool. I don’t want to fall flat on my face and disappoint them. I also know how excited my dad is, he is just over the moon that I am testing for the PD again, slightly sad that it’s not in Michigan I think but he is excited non-the-less. I find myself telling people that find out I am testing that I am realistic that I might not possibly pass, or that it is extremely competitive – which is all true, but I think I am also saying that because I don’t want to get my own hopes up to high.
My folks will be here in a couple weeks, they will join me for a UW Women’s hockey game & also catch one of mine – then they will really see the skill level difference I always look forward to this visit except for the fact that this means I will not see them for the next 5-6 months when they head down to Florida. My dad has been pushing so hard for me to come down to visit, I might actually try to scrape up enough PTO days to do that but I don’t know yet. Don’t want to promise and not deliver that.
Deep breaths…1 mile at a time…Believe in Yourself.
I will be honest; I am terrified by this test. The last time I did a PT test for a PD was when I was 23 years old. I was in tip top shape; I had everything going for me. I didn’t realize then just how bad I wanted it – I know you need to get to a point to recognize this but dammit why wasn’t I paying attention?! When I am running I think about all my friends that are currently officers, especially the ones here in Madison. They all know I am testing, and I don’t want to look like a fool. I don’t want to fall flat on my face and disappoint them. I also know how excited my dad is, he is just over the moon that I am testing for the PD again, slightly sad that it’s not in Michigan I think but he is excited non-the-less. I find myself telling people that find out I am testing that I am realistic that I might not possibly pass, or that it is extremely competitive – which is all true, but I think I am also saying that because I don’t want to get my own hopes up to high.
My folks will be here in a couple weeks, they will join me for a UW Women’s hockey game & also catch one of mine – then they will really see the skill level difference I always look forward to this visit except for the fact that this means I will not see them for the next 5-6 months when they head down to Florida. My dad has been pushing so hard for me to come down to visit, I might actually try to scrape up enough PTO days to do that but I don’t know yet. Don’t want to promise and not deliver that.
Deep breaths…1 mile at a time…Believe in Yourself.
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