Half-Pint

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License . So starting with the good stuff. Friday I am at work feeling ho hum about my duties, lamenting how I really need a new job, blah blah. When my phone vibrates telling me I have a new email which is from city of Sun Prairie and it has 1 line that I can read that says congratulations. I almost jumped out of my skin for a moment. I ran to the nearest computer and pulled up my email which told me I had passed the written exam and was moving onto the oral board interviews. HOLY CRAP!! And I thought I was gonna bomb their test. Shows how much I know. Anyway, I have 2 interviews on Sept 13th in front of various panels and I don't know how soon I will hear but I was one of the top 50 which is sweet. My friend from work also moved on, whoohoo! Oh did I mention I have a 45 page packet to fill out? Nice, I know! Now onto the sadness that going on in my life right now. Loni...

I just got home from a phenomenal training session with my new friend Sid. I met her on the ride and she is a personal trainer at a gym. She offered to train me tonight so at 8pm I met her down at the gym and we worked out for almost 1 hour. It was a workout like I have never had before. I was excited about how this could really be for me, that perhaps I could get back into shape again, and in time for the test at Madison. But that was where I new it was going to be difficult, I have a bad track record of joining gyms and then just never going, I do it to myself. But I have proved that obviously I cannot commit to something. I don't know what it is but I get super excited about something and have a plan or a goal then I just let it slip through my hands. Back to tonight, training is expensive, it's not something you pay $40 a month for and that's it. I thought I would use the money I made from the wedding I just shot, but that isn't enough. I wasn't even going to br...

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License . So today I didn't go into work. I have many reasons, so many excuses, bottom line is that I feel like I am going to have a nervous breakdown there. Unfortunately, we are so mismanaged and things are so secretive that it's just tearin me up. I have so many things that I am excited about these days, Act 6 just got done, Hockey is right around the corner, school will be starting up again in 2 weeks and the weather is awesome! So what is my problem? Every day between 8-430pm I just die inside. I am treated like crap, watch my co-workers struggle and have to answer to some of the most unrespectable individuals on the planet! ugh! I have a lot of things going well for me and I am trying to focus on that, but I am just so unhappy with most of the day!! Okay enough whining.. I can't stand it! This weekend should be a lot of fun. I have some putsy things to do aro...

Yesterday we pulled into Madison and completed this years Act ride. It was a beautiful route, very hilly but just gorgeous. It's amazing just how beautiful Wisconsin is when you are riding out there on your bike. I think my favorite sound was the wind whipping through the corn, it's awesome (especially if I think I created the wind and I raced by). The ride feels like a family reunion in a way, there are people you only see this one time a year, but you have this special bond that you would wrap your arms around them in a hug if you saw them anywhere, but you just don't see each other that often. There are also those people you see a lot and this just strengthens the bond that you already share. When you eat, sleep, shower, ride, cry, laugh and get a massage with people for 4 days straight it's quite something. I felt really good on the ride physically. I think I am really lucky since I didn't train well for the ride to feel as good as I did. I believe it's on...

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License . Well this is what it is all about, today is day 0 as we call it. Today is the day that ALL the riders and crew come from wherever they call home, and meet together to register for the ride, gather up materials, turn in pledge money, say hi to fellow Act'ers and prepare for tomorrow. This year is very special to me, so many people had to chip in and help (of course it took freeking out and having a breakdown first) but I am so thankful to my friends. I would not be a rider this year with out them! In fact while I am writing this I am listening to a radio station that will have some friends on it for the ride. I am sure there will be a hill or two that I will be cursing their names but it is all worth it! I spent this morning picking up our trucks, loading them full of gear and helping Aids Network folks get ready. I can't believe that day 0 is here, the next 4...

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License . So some people in my life know that I have been agonizing over the decision to ride or crew for Act 6 since I have not yet met my minimum. I must decided if I will have "faith" that the donations will come in, even after the ride, or not. But I have had 2 people step up and say "I will help" and send emails out to friends, post on facebook you name it. That is what your family does, they might not be able to help you themselves necessarily, but they will reach out to everyone they know and help you though. Bri and Aaron, you guys don't know what this means to me and I appreciate it very much! I just don't have the words right now, this is what the Act rides are about!

I don't know how to put into words the concert last night. As usual Melissa was full of energy and that voice, oh that voice! Although she had said a few years ago she would keep her hair short, she is sporting a longer mane for this tour. I suspect she is going back to the full, long hair that we all know and love. She played for 2hrs & 38 min before walking off stage "finished" but being a true Melissa fan, I knew she would be back out for more. And I was not let down, she came out roaring and ended with Piece of My Heart. It was a fabulous concert, I am not disappointed in the least. Not only am I a fan of her music, I love seeing her live as well, one of the few that can sound just a good live as she does on the CD you buy. WHEW! What a night!!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License . Having been a Melissa Etheridge fan for, eh, practically my whole life, tonight marks the 2nd time I have seen her in concert. I am more excited than I can put into words. Her concerts are super fun, full of enegry and she is well worth the time out of my life to go see. I remember being in my room in my parents basement cranking up "Come to my window" and "Yes I am" and singing to the top of my lungs. ahh memories! All that and I am going with a group of friends which should make it a blast! WHOOHOO!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License . I am totally bumbed right now. Yesterday I started to come to the realization that unless some miracle happens or I meet someone that wants to donate a lot of money, I will not be able to ride for Act 6. Fortunately because I am on the steering committee I can move over into the crew side, but I really want to ride. It's just not the same thing for me. Granted I have not trained like I should, again, but riding is what it is all about for me! In fact, I don't know if I can be a part of the ride when I can't be a rider. It is so depressing to me. Basically I am about $800 short of the minimum amount needed for a rider. No small peanuts I know! This year is just really tough for donations with the way the economy is, and unlike some people, I don't have a business supporting me with a few thousand dollars. In face, I can't even get people at work to...

I have found myself wondering recently why I started this blog. When I started it was a place to capture my thoughts as I worked some awful shifts at work, an online journal of sorts that was my little secret. I didn't tell anyone about my little slice of cyber space and frankly it wasn't anyone's business. After a while I realized that a lot of friends, a lot of family members also had blogs and suddenly I was able to see what was going on with them at any time, even though I was in WI. I decided I wanted some people to know what was happening in my life as well. Recently I have been able to merge those two thoughts into one place that I "let it all hang out" if you will. My blog is a place to release fears, be excited about stuff, wonder about life, and ultimately clear some head space from time to time. Regardless, I have invited you (yup you...the one reading right now) into my life. All I ask is that you respect what you find, don't be judgmental and kno...

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License . I figured it has been a while since I posted anything, I don't have a lot to share right now..well that's not entirly true either. Let's see if I can do the short, short version. Loni got a new job yesterday (HELL YEAH!!!) she is working in some fabulous fancy schmancy law firm downtown with a great view or something. Starting to make me very jealous, but I am very excited for her, she deserves to be in a good place and one of us should be happy dammit! Um, it looks as if I will be going back to EMT school next month. Although it's not official until I think Monday, I will be the newest member of DeerGrove EMS and they are sending me back to school. The cool thing is that every level I want to take and get closer to paramedic (and ultimately get it if I want) they will pay for it! As I was driving out there I thought perhaps this isn't the time to...

Today I got a letter in the mail from a familiar address, with familiar handwriting, but such sadness inside. There was a letter along with a card for a memorial service. My dear pseudo-grandmother passed away last month, Loni used to call her Grandma Helen. I never called her grandmother because I had 2 wonderful grandmothers in my lifetime that can never be replaced. Helen was the step-mother to my birth mother Kathy. I met her just before my 21st birthday, I think it was a lifetime ago. Helen was my connection to a part of my past that I have worked so long to understand and accept. The gist of the letter said that it was one of Helen's daughters and she was writing to tell me that Helen had passed away. Evidently Helen saved all of my letters and was glad that I kept in contact with her. It was very sweet that these people that didn't know me at all, would send me something so I would know. Obviously I am sad, but more than that, for the first time in 10 years I must not ...

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License . Ya know when your body is just telling you to slow down a minute, relax for a second, catch your breath?! Well that was today for me, just need a day to center myself again. Although it helps when you have a stack of police department applications you are submitting as well. I have come to realize that although Madison PD is my preference, in order to be realistic I should also apply for those areas surrounding that I will accept as well. So, that is what I will be hacking away at today, trying to get these 14 pagers done and printed so I can turn them in and get hired. Real simple, just wish it didn't take around 7mo-1yr to happen! I just realized that I can have a cup of coffee and enjoy the whole thing, hell I am brew a pot and drink that whole thing if I want to. Whoohoo! Simple things in life is all it takes sometimes. So the old saying, "stop and smell...

Just on principle I usually do not watch movies that are about the military or soldiers. Many times I don't like how these movies are shown, and just because it's cool to wear some camouflage pants or dog tags does not mean that you deserve such a right.  Being a soldier was one of the best things I have ever been a part of and I miss it. One of my biggest regrets in life was not doing more as a soldier and getting out in 2004. If I could do it over, I would have stayed in, I would have have been ready to take my turn overseas. It actually makes me really sad when I think about it and perhaps that is why I don't like to watch these movies. I would give anything to put that uniform on again...

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License . Ah another weekend is here, although this post finds me sitting at the office waiting for a Lion to drop off a case from Milwaukee. Actually last night found me here, this morning I was on the phone working and now I am here again. Well it wouldn't be my recovery weekend if it wasn't slightly busy. As I was leaving the house to come in, I got my honey-do list, things I can just do while I am out and about. This coming from the one that was able to stay for dinner with our friends and then went to another friends house until 1230am. And of course guess who had to get up with the dogs at 6am? yup me! Oh well, if she had fun I suppose that's the main thing. I will be dammed if both of us are miserable just because I have to work. At least one of us can be having a good time hanging out with friends! Ugh, I am just frustrated with work latley (well okay it...

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License . So this morning I went to workout and I was in a mood. Somewhat down, somewhat something. Perhaps it was the grey skies and rain latley. Anyway, while I was suffering though a run (ugh hate running) a song that I love came on the ipod and I think I will just leave the post with here are the words. Anastacia- "You'll Never Be Alone" The world is changing and time is spinning fast it's so amazing how you came into my life I know it seems all hope is gone I know you feel you can't be strong and once again the story ends with you and I And anytime you feel like you just can't go on just hold on to my love and you'll never be alone Hold on we can make it through the fire and my love I'm forever by your side and you know if you should ever call my name I'll be right there you'll never be alone Hopeless to describe the way I feel fo...

I really don't know where to start. I am actually laying in bed right now making a mental list of the things I should or should not write on here tonight. Not because I am scared of anything I might post, but I don't know if I could stop, making this blog the longest in history! I have so many things going on right now, some are really really good and I am so excited. Let's see if I can recap. I am currently serving on the steering committee for the Act 6 ride, on the Board of Directors for the Token Creek Lions Club and now...drum roll please... new member of the MGHA board. I don't yet know my role for the MGHA but I am super excited because I feel like I already have some kindred spirits with me and I hope I can help steer the league for future players. We have a wonderful gift to share and I want to protect this league. So, today I was a challenge at work. This week has been absolute and utter hell at work. I feel my blood pressure jump the second I walk into the ...

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License . What can I say about the weekend? I played hard, worked hard and had a good weekend. I don’t know why such great weekends go so quickly and the work week pokes along. We are not much of the 4th of July bbq or cookouts, definitely not much for the fireworks (crowds and mosquitoes) . Friday morning we went up to the Dells to take a look at the wedding location and scout out where pictures would be best. I must say that it hit me at that moment that I am totally responsible for all of this wedding photography, and it is now a scary thought. What if I screw this up? What if I don’t get good pictures? What if she hates me and this ruins a friendship? But if I am more positive, this could really be a lot of fun, something I find I like, I could get a lot of clients from this as well since the bride has a lot of friends that are not married yet. After the trip there we wen...

Okay please allow me to rant a little. Beware, I could use some profanity if the mood is right. Okay I am coming off a recovery weekend today, not a terrible one. I did stay up a little late on Friday night working on some health things with a friend. So, okay I was up until about 1am. Get a call at 3am, dealing with some work stuff until about 5am. Then, 7am starts more work..all day. Then at night, we went with the girls out for a long drive just to take a long walk. I know it sounds funny, but we really did have a specific destination in mind but anyway, exercise was needed. Got home at a decent time, not early by any standards and had a decent night sleep...well until Sarge vomited right next to my head at 4am. This resulted in me laying on the couch for a little while and being paged again around 630am. So, off I go again do another case and make it back just in the nick of time for lunch with a friend. The rest of Sunday went pretty good but I was still somewhat tired. Then I ge...

Some people rant and rave, some cry and scream. I am not saying that I don't do these things, but when something upsets me...or really gets to my heart I write. A friend of mine recently asked me why I don't post any of my writings on here...well here ya go. Hero I started thinking today, about what my legacy would be. Would I do things that matter and make someone see? Have I used time on this earth well, will I go to heaven - or banished into hell. The great thing about our hero is that even when they're gone, the part of us that they touched will always live on. The thing about a hero is, not just what they do or say, its about how they choose to live their lives each and every day. Hero's help push you higher than you thought you could every go, dig deeper than you thought you could and push your thinking beyond what you think or know. A hero makes you better just because you walk arm in arm, they help you stand tall, watch your back and keep you safe from harm. B...