Happy July 4th

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What can I say about the weekend? I played hard, worked hard and had a good weekend. I don’t know why such great weekends go so quickly and the work week pokes along. We are not much of the 4th of July bbq or cookouts, definitely not much for the fireworks (crowds and mosquitoes) . Friday morning we went up to the Dells to take a look at the wedding location and scout out where pictures would be best. I must say that it hit me at that moment that I am totally responsible for all of this wedding photography, and it is now a scary thought. What if I screw this up? What if I don’t get good pictures? What if she hates me and this ruins a friendship? But if I am more positive, this could really be a lot of fun, something I find I like, I could get a lot of clients from this as well since the bride has a lot of friends that are not married yet.
After the trip there we went to Mel’s 4th of July party which turned out to be a good time. It was great seeing everyone again and I have so much fun when “the group” gets together. Unfortunately there was not much for food for me which really sucked, but then again, less food options means less crap I fill my face with! Problem solved! There was an interesting game of horseshoes and then some fun volleyball. Oh, let me back up. A couple of weeks ago I was asked to play softball for the first time in forever, which I didn’t realize how much I had missed it. Anyway, while I was running for a ball I pulled my hamstring really good. Enough so that it dropped me to the ground! I felt really stupid that I couldn’t even run after a ball, and then again I was feeling super old. So, while we were playing volleyball, I felt it pull again. Stupid leg, but then again, makes me feel so out of shape.
Saturday was spent working and playing a little. I took some of the on call for a co-worker that was not able to take it and had some tissue check-ins and then had Mary over for some guitar hero, errands and lunch. It was a lot of fun just hanging out since Loni decided to go up to her brothers and I was stuck in Madison anyway. Time went so fast though. I spent most of the evening dealing with work stuff anyway, so it was good that I was home alone.
Sunday was an interesting day. We were incredibly lazy in the morning, and by time I was motivated to do anything, a group of us went to see a movie. Then, it’s time to prepare for another work week. Where the heck does time go?!

I am getting nervous for the Aids ride, my donations are just not coming in this time, and it is taking away from my excitement of the ride. In addition, I am not training again. I ran into this last year and I don’t know if it’s the times for training that I just cannot make, or my motivation is so low that I just don’t get going. I also have the MPD test coming up in a few weeks that I need to get running and I don’t do that either. I am not sure what my problem is, perhaps I like the pressure? Which I do know that I do well under, but I just set myself up for failure…why do I do that to myself?!
It’s like as soon as I get home each day I am so tired that I just crash. Some days I can’t keep my eyes open anyway. I am not sure if this has to do with my current unhappiness or being overworked but I just don’t have any energy to spend on working out, or being active during the week. It just seems like I spend so much time working and doing things for work that I am just burnt out by time I get home. Sometimes I hate the way my life is going; I am the only one with the power to change it. I just need to figure out how to pick myself up by the bootstraps and just do it dammit! I need to find that something inside again that I had when I first was joining the Army and was pumped up. I just need to find it again.

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