Some days I just can't take it!!
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So today I didn't go into work. I have many reasons, so many excuses, bottom line is that I feel like I am going to have a nervous breakdown there. Unfortunately, we are so mismanaged and things are so secretive that it's just tearin me up. I have so many things that I am excited about these days, Act 6 just got done, Hockey is right around the corner, school will be starting up again in 2 weeks and the weather is awesome! So what is my problem? Every day between 8-430pm I just die inside. I am treated like crap, watch my co-workers struggle and have to answer to some of the most unrespectable individuals on the planet! ugh! I have a lot of things going well for me and I am trying to focus on that, but I am just so unhappy with most of the day!!
Okay enough whining.. I can't stand it!
This weekend should be a lot of fun. I have some putsy things to do around the house that I am actually looking forward to. At some point this weekend we need to gather some people together for about 10 min. so Loni can do her speech for class. We might be going to cornfest tomorrow and then over to a friends house to do the speech. Then Sunday I am hosting the practice for the 2nd Pillow Pilloza to benefit the Aids Network. The fight is actually on the 24th but we are doing the practice at my house, hopefully after I will be having some of them stay over for a little cookout. I am sure it will go fast as usual.
Adding to my anxiety lately is my parents (I know this topic again right?!) I have not actually talked to my mother since April and I know there are some things going on with her medically but I don't know what they are exactly. I think my dad is doing well. I talk to him as much as I can but I am really worried about him these days. He will be here next month to help me with some doors and then I can judge for myself. I know he is getting old, I know his health is declining but that just makes it harder. I try to make it seem like having my family of choice here in Madison is all I need, which really it is. But, I miss my dad. I hope someday to be able to straighten everything out with my mum, but I just don't know if it will happen.
When we pulled into closing ceremonies I went over to get Bri since I was taking her home and when I walked over she had this grin and said "my parents came down" and I knew how much it touched her that they would do that. I couldn't help but feel this pang of jealousy, this instant of gee I wish I had that. I was so excited for her, but at the same time my heart just broke.
okay i need to stop for a while...
Great quote I saw on someones email the other day
" Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain" perhaps right now, I just need to learn how to dance in the rain.