A Man At The End

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I really don't know what to write right now. Loni's grandfather is very sick and at this moment, is taking what we think will be his last breath. We were called up there at 5pm tonight because he was calling everyone Loni so it was felt that he needed to see her. I know that at 11-12pm today he will be getting a communion. They say about a week, give or take. But tonight he was saying he wanted to go home, and he was reliving memories and talking to people that have gone on long before we ever knew them. I know it's the natural part of life but it doesn't make it any easier to watch someone die.
Tonight when we got home I went down to be with my friends, well family. Those people that I know mean that they are there no matter what.
I don't know why the loss of Loni's grandfather is having such an impact on me, I have only known him for 8 years. I see resembelances to my grandparents, and think of how it will be when my father passes away. That is what losing him means to Loni, that was her father figure.
I am really feeling like an outsider in a way yet part of the family. It's hard to describe. I just don't know what to say....How do you say goodbye?!

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