The Letter

So I got my letter from Madison Police Department today, looks like I am not a total moron and can at least past step 1 (ie fill out the damn application properly, attach necessary documents.)Anyway, the gist of the letter says that testing is done on Sundays with the written being at 0800-0930 and the heats for the physical agility assessment start around 1030. So, I should be getting a letter in August giving me the date I will be testing.

Oh here is the kicker, and I know they put this on all letters but I can't help but feel that it's just mine, "in conclusion, thanks again for your interest in MPD and keep working out--we don't want to lose qualified candidates because of their inability to master the physical agility assessment."

Here is the breakdown of what I will be expected to do, I will keep this more as a check list, so I can mark when I comfortable with my skill in each area:

• Abdominal Strength: Twenty-five (25) sit-ups in one (1) minute, performed while sitting on the floor, legs secured, knees bent, hands folded across the chest with the torso reaching at least a 90 degree angle with the floor.
• Flexibility: One (1) sit-and-reach; a toe-touching test performed (for three seconds) from the sitting position, the legs will be straight.
• Cardio-Vascular Endurance: One and one-half (1 1/2) miles in no more than fourteen minutes, thirty seconds (14:30) running and/or walking on an indoor track.
• Upper Body Strength: (Candidate’s Choice) a) Bench press one-half of your body weight to a locked-elbow position from the chest, fifteen (15) times in one (1) minute; b) Fifteen (15) “perfect protocol” pushups in one (1) minute.

If I can recall the good 'ole Army days, my toughest challenges were the sit ups (although 25 with my legs secured isn't too bad, I tend to use all leg muscles anyway) and of course the run. At one point I was able to do the 2 mile in about 14:20 so hopefully, in the next 2 months, I can at least get the 1 1/2 mile in that time, note it does say walking as well. Which means, sprint the first part until you think you will die, then just walk it in. Yeah right!! I have the flexibility thing down, and I am going to do some testing today to see if I want to bench press or do the pushups. I used to do so good on pushups so I am not sure, 15 in 1 minute are really not that hard if you think of it, that is just knocking out 5 every fifteen seconds if you need that long. In fact please hold while I test  .............................................................................................................................................................................Okay back again, thanks for waiting :O) totally do' able for the pushups...I might have to try the bench press thing too. Although if you think about it, it is the same thing. Anyway, I will have to work on this a little since my elbow is slightly sensitive from the surgery.

Also on the plan, is some sort of diet. I HAVE GOT TO LOSE WEIGHT! This is not something I want to do, I must do it. I felt better when I was about 30 lbs lighter, so I will focus on that as well.

So there it is....guess it's time to start kickin my own ass. I think today is looking like a good day for a run!

Just breathe

Okay I admit it..I called in to work today. Didn't call in sick, which would be a lie, just said I'm not coming in. I need a day to breathe. It has been a very long, emotional week. I need a day to get myself together, to get a few things done, and for 1 day, not focus on death.

Of course, Loni was kind enough to provide me with a "honey-do-list" which I said I won't start unless I get my other things done. I have been such a slacker the last few weeks...okay almost 1 month but I just just drained down. I have been seriously neglecting my Act ride duties, neglecting my commitment to go to the gym, neglected applying for other police departments and neglecting life.

So, today is my day to play catch-up, take care of business..then get back on track. Sometimes we need these type of days. Looking forward to a good weekend again, tomorrow is the kickoff meeting for the Act 6 ride, in the evening we are having some sort of Guitar Hero dual with Mary & Michelle, then on Sunday I have summer hockey starting.  All in all it should be a fun couple of days. Why do they go so fast?

untitled

This was a post I wrote a few days ago about things that were happening in my life.

 

So I have been in a slump lately. Not feeling fully connected with much, too busy, too tired, too many excuses. I feel that I am so far away from me, that I am too wrapped up in other, non-essential things. With everything that has been going on, I have a few friends that I have stood by my side, traveled with me to an event that really did not mean anything to them (at the time) but they went for me...simply because I asked them to be by my side. Those are the type of people that I need to surround myself.

On Saturday we went to hear Mary Lou Wallner speak about her experiences and her "testimony of hope." For me, this was the first time back in a church in a long time, and it was a strange feeling to be there. But we had a great dinner and some yummy dessert before the program started.

Almost the instant Mary Lou stepped up to speak I could feel my throat tighten up. The similarities between Mary Lou and my mother are uncanny. It's almost scary how they look similar, have similar beliefs. I did good while she was speaking, only a few tears squeaked by. But it was hard. It was so hard to sit there and listen to these people, Christian people, in a church no less, talk about how they welcome people just like me. But the hardest thing was listening to how Mary Lou talked about what happened to her daughter. She had committed suicide and Mary Lou never got the chance to reconnect with her daughter after shunning her for being gay.

I have been in that place before, I have contemplated suicide in the past..even attempted it. I have been in that dark and lonely place before, many days I am still only 1 step from that place.

A moment of silence

I was going to reserve today for Memorial Day post about veterans. However, today I need to post about another member of our family tragically taken away from us this morning. Felicia Melton-Smyth was someone that I have known for 8 years, since I moved to Madison. I knew her as someone that was a prominent figure in the fight against AIDS. I had a chance to get to know her on the Walk, Roll & Stroll for the Aids Network in 2006 because we did the walk as Team Shamrock, and again during the Act Ride last year.

Today when I got home from doing my everyday things, I found out that Felicia was murdered while vacationing Mexico this morning. This is a loss for our community, her friends and those that cared for her. In the wake of such news I feel that silence is best. I found some of my favorite pictures to post today. They show Felicia as I saw her, a fun loving, and dedicated person. RIP Felicia, may we pick up the pieces and carry on your legacy.

Walk Roll & Stroll 2006 - Team Shamrock

Pillow fight to benefit the Aids Network, Felicia was a Ring Girl

 

Bri watching Felicia ham it up with a little dance number

 

This guy wanted to pillow fight so bad, and Felicia took him up on it...he was in for a treat with that!!

One should not go thinking while at work

I have had a rough week. On Wednesday I had a crown prep done and thought I would just have to suffer though it for 2 weeks until I could have a day to chew on the right side of my mouth. (try it for a year and see how much only chewing on one side bugs ya!) anyway, as much as I dislike the dentist I hated my tooth pain and my "daily dose of Advil" even more so it had to be done. Anyway, while at work on Thurs I was pretty sure a huge chunk cracked off...while a eating dinner of noodles I noticed that it was almost unbearable to chew, but the pain was even more intense. So...I call, see my dentist and she says that she is afraid my fracture goes deeper and I need a specialist. So, I quickly made an appointment for Monday and he will shove some huge needle/microscope down my poor little tooth and determine if a root canal is possible or if I will need to have the tooth "extracted" which is a fancy word for ripped out of my mouth! Until then I must suffer through the jagged edges that are tearing my toungue and making it hard to talk, forget chewing now, I was always meaning to do an all liquid diet anyway!
So that catches you up on that crap!

Tomorrow is going to be an interesting and somewhat difficult day. I am going to hear Mary Lou Wallner (from the documetry For the Bible Tells Me So) speak in Chicago. I am fourtunate enough to have an extreemly supportive partner and 2 wonderful friends that will join me on this visit. I am not going to hear her speak so much as to chat with her for a bit. Mary Lou and I have been emailing for a few months now, since her article in People magazine in November. For me, the difficult part of this whole thing is how much she reminds me of my mom, from her strong religious beliefs to even how she looks. There is one huge difference of course, she has become a becon of hope for those of us that have been rejected by the conservative/religious groups and especially our parents. She calls herself my surrogate mom, someone that opens there arms and says you are just fine the way you are and God loves you!
Oddly enough this is the primary difference in my own parents.
So, I don't know what tomorrow will be like, I am slightly nervous and excited at the same time.

it's friday!

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