It was just a dream

This morning I woke up crying- literally. In my dream I felt so loved, so cared for, so complete. Not that I do not feel such things in my life but it certainly filled in some gaps. It made me sad for things I don't have, grateful for the ones I do & just general blah. I cannot explain it. This morning I feelmso uncertain of things when I shouldn't be. My weight has really been bothering me, it's inability to come off for one. But my doctor says it's not an issue for me health wise, and I think this makes me feel less attractive, less like I matter. But I hold onto it, subconsciously, because it's all I have. The fog outside right now matches my tears and the fog in my head.

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