Sorting it all out

I am still trying to sort everything out, trying not to push too hard, not to throw myself all in without taking some time to absorb the information.

I am struggling with everything regarding my brother tho. He is young, focused on himself and shows signs on occasion of being interested in me he is not very good at answering my questions or responding back to me. I am trying not to be frustrated, but it's hard. I keep trying to remind myself what it was like at his age and to understand what he must be feeling to just find out about me. I am trying to separate my own feelings from what must be going on with him.

I am also trying not to feel disappointment in all of this. Those dreams I had when I was a kid that this birth family would swoop in and take me away - that they would all be these great people that missed me terribly. And what I found was a lot of struggling and hurting individuals, brothers that didn't know I existed and didn't share the same feelings. All I ever wanted were siblings, I knew it was a big possibility that I would have some because Kathy was young enough to have a family.
I know time will help, and these first steps are slow, and difficult. It just takes time.

Oh and on top of all this- while Deb was here visiting I got my Grad School acceptance letter. we go again!


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