So many emotions

So many emotions have been going through my head. Overwhelmed, sadness, more recently anger. I still don't know how to wrap my head around it. For so many years I dreamed my my "real" family would swoop in and rescue me from my life. Not that I had such a horrible life mind you, but something about knowing someone didn't really mean to let me go...that they made a mistake. And for what? This family that didn't want me? A family I didn't know?!

Well now I am older, I get to hear the background story, hear and understand what really happened. Not what my childhood mind made up one night while crying in my bed.

Only 5 days and I will get to meet my Aunt Deb face to face, understand more of what happened. And I am trying to prepare my head and my heart for the difference in imagination and my reality. I am excited, nervous & I think a little terrified. When I first met Kathy it was about getting some medical questions answered, it was partial curiosity and showing that I was fine despite being given away. Now it's about know and understanding my story - what happened when I was 8 months old and the cops came and took me away from the women that wanted & was taking care of me anyway, my Aunt.

I guess we will see what else I find out.


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