So today is our 8 year anniversary..it actually started out pretty good...I remembered to make the coffee, let her sleep in a few extra minutes, great start. We had a hair appointment for 5pm tonight, knowing I would go in first and Loni would come right from work. You know what they say about plans....Loni ran into traffic and got lost, then called me upset, eventually crying and yelling (dropping a lot of the old F bomb as I recall!!) I know she was not mad "at" me but it was quite difficult to hold my own frustrations back because I knew that would only make it worse. But we told her not a big deal, we would just hang out until she got there since my hair was done.....well a few minutes later I got another call that was even worse. Loni is quite difficult to reason with when she gets upset, she gets more upset that she is upset by a situation that is out of her control. Say 1 thing wrong and you get the whole world of hurt thrown onto you. So I rescheduled her hair appointment once I got her going in the right direction towards the house, and headed home myself knowing I would find a foul mood once I arrived. Well she was on the couch, pouting and I could tell she was still upset. I tried to re-assure her that it happens and it's not a big deal, what do you want for dinner, how can I make you feel better type of thing. All it turned into was some bickering and grumbling and now we are on opposite ends of the house doing our own thing because she is grumpy, and I tried to make the best of "our" night...so now I am irritated and I have homework to do.
So, she ate alone, I just didn't have dinner and here we sit. 8 years is a long time to be together, and sometimes I don't think it feels like that long, and days like today feel like 3 times that! But that is how a relationship works..you accept the bad days and move on, because those fun and wonderful days are right around the corner.
A friend did ask me something today that got me thinking..she asked who the romantic one was. Well I think we skipped that department. I tried the first few years, doing stuff to surprise Loni or things I thought she might like that would make her smile. And sometimes I think it worked..but for the most part, didn't seem to make an impact so I gave up. I admit there have been times, not many, but there have been times that she really surprised me and made me feel quite special. The best one was the surprise graduation party she had worked out last summer..made me feel like all of my hard work paid off and that there were people that cared about me. It was really sweet and I was quite surprised. Other than that, we don't do valentines, not much happens for birthdays, no big event for Christmas... nothing. I am not complaining, it just doesn't happen and I have come to accept that is just how it is. I don't get much affection, but you learn to live with those kind of things. I have a solid, loving relationship that works for us. Might not be ideal, might drive me crazy from time to time...but it is what it is. So, 8 years down..a lifetime to go!