The balls in your court now
This weekend I wrote a letter. It was a frank, honest letter, stained with the tears I cried as I wrote it on Saturday night. I had a choice to make, it was time to stand up and declare what I felt was no longer acceptable.
The 3 page letter to my parents told them that I loved them very much, and I did not want to lose them in my life. But I can no longer live 2 lives, I cannot exclude my life partner in important events or even our own home because they come to town. That unconditional love means there are no conditions to love. I told them that I have always tried to make them proud, and for the most part I think they are, yet they are ashamed to have a gay daughter. Many times I have felt that they would rather have a dead daughter than a gay one. And that I was created by God just as I am, for a reason and they need to begin to accept that.
Although it may seem somewhat harsh to tell them they must begin the acceptance process, it was the only way I can fully be me. I want to be able to share the important things in my life with my family, which would include my parents and Loni. So, I must make a choice, as they must do as well. As much as my heart is tearing in two, I must make a family of choice. Surround myself with people that love and accept me for who I am.
I hope my parents will reach out, that they will call PFLAG, or something. I cannot help them with their journey any more than they could have helped me with mine. I just hope that some day they will wrap their arms around me and say that they love me for who I am. But for now, they have stopped communication with me....that might say more than words ever will.
I hope....I wish....