The balls in your court now

This weekend I wrote a letter. It was a frank, honest letter, stained with the tears I cried as I wrote it on Saturday night. I had a choice to make, it was time to stand up and declare what I felt was no longer acceptable.

The 3 page letter to my parents told them that I loved them very much, and I did not want to lose them in my life. But I can no longer live 2 lives, I cannot exclude my life partner in important events or even our own home because they come to town. That unconditional love means there are no conditions to love. I told them that I have always tried to make them proud, and for the most part I think they are, yet they are ashamed to have a gay daughter. Many times I have felt that they would rather have a dead daughter than a gay one. And that I was created by God just as I am, for a reason and they need to begin to accept that.

Although it may seem somewhat harsh to tell them they must begin the acceptance process, it was the only way I can fully be me. I want to be able to share the important things in my life with my family, which would include my parents and Loni. So, I must make a choice, as they must do as well. As much as my heart is tearing in two, I must make a family of choice. Surround myself with people that love and accept me for who I am.

I hope my parents will reach out, that they will call PFLAG, or something. I cannot help them with their journey any more than they could have helped me with mine. I just hope that some day they will wrap their arms around me and say that they love me for who I am. But for now, they have stopped communication with me....that might say more than words ever will.

I hope....I wish....

Comments

Anonymous said…
I am proud of you for taking a stand for what you believe in. You know where I stand and I love you for who you are. My heart breaks for you and your parents. I wish that life could be easier than it is some times. You know that I know from recent experience that family issues can be so difficult. I do wish and pray that your parents find a way to have a relationship with you even though they do not agree with the choices you have made. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that my heart breaks for you and with you. I pray that God will help you and your parents get thru this situation.
3:35 PM
Anonymous said…
Somehow I stumbled across your blog and just want you to know as a christian....God did make you, but you made a choice here to be gay..God definitely did not make you that way...He made you in His image and you have free will to live how you want and this is what YOU have chosen. Homesexuals will NOT inherit the kingdom of God. Unfortunately the world has made this a live as you want world not as HE would want.
2:20 PM
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