Tomboy

scraped knees
sack lunches
creek walkin in old shoes and socks
catchin crawfish
playin with frogs
beat the sun up and stay out till you hear your moms voice callin
through the woods
up to the fort it took you days to build
tree climbing
imagination working overtime
carving your name into the tree with daddy's pocketknife
running wild through corn fields
scared out of your mind because you just saw children of the corn
daring someone to touch the electric fence
all the summers at the campground where bugs were cool
the best of friends on the planet
sitting with mark in the field at night watching the stars shine and chewing a weed
waiting for the hayride at night on that old tractor with the old man driving
sometimes he would let us steer it
it was so simple back then
not having to worry
being able to trust anyone
didn't have to play just in the front yard or in sight of a parent
we were free to run and play
be kids
carefree
i wanted to be gi joe
or wonder woman
or a secret spy
ponytails
sleeping in tents
forts
true tomboy

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Creeping up on the big 4-0

Image
Wow...almost 40 already?! Where does life fly away to when you are not paying attention? I have had a lot floating through my mind as I spend the last 15 days of my 30's looking back on what has all happened in my life and I have made some decisions. As an adoptee there are things that I didn't know I did or realize about myself until recently. The way that I tend to push others away always fearing they will leave me first. The way I put up barriers around myself so others cannot hurt me- not willing to trust too easily or not believing that a person is genuine. And, when someone does something that hurts me or pulls away from me I usually comment about how I expected as much. I have spent too much time in my life wondering about, wishing for and hoping that my bio mother would come around. 20 years I have tried to have conversations or a connection that I so desperately thought I wanted or needed. Something clicked for me this week, I don't need her- and frankly, if y
Read more

Alone

Image
Some days I feel like I am all alone. I find it hard to love myself because it feels like no one else loves me.. So how can you love yourself? Maybe I am not love able- after all I did get rejected by my biological and adoptive mothers. I just don't know anymore. 
Read more

My Memory

This time of year one hears a lot about national coming out day  which happens to fall this week. So I decided that it would be a good time to share my story as well. I spent the day yesterday retracing my first few months in Madison down on State Street. When I first moved here I really did not have anywhere to go and I certainly didn't know anyone, so I would spend hours walking down the street and watching people. Many times I would sit and write or read, I find that this was one of the most creative periods of my life. Anyway, it amazed me then, and I felt it yesterday, that even around so many people a person can feel so alone. I knew long ago that I was gay, I would say early teens. Unfortunately, where I grew up and in my family, being gay was one of the biggest taboos that one could be. Growing up in such a religious family and area, diversity was not high on the list of things encouraged. When I finally accepted myself I was resigned to the fact that I would never, ever,
Read more