Love

How can a person say I love you or you are always welcome here...yet because there are two of you the emphasis is on YOU. Meaning that person, that special person in your life is not welcome.
Here is to 5 years of trying to be the good daughter,
trying to be the good partner
being torn in two every time my two worlds come together.
Everyone says give them time, how much longer do they need??
My dad had a quad bypass 2 months ago, i thought that would have
"shook him up" maybe he would see me,
ALL OF ME,
not the just the pieces that he wants to see.
I am welcome home anytime, I am loved, what about my partner? what about the love in my life?
She has her own family they say, that is if they refer to her at all...
how sad, how wrong,
to never really know your child, never understand the person that makes them laugh,
or be there when they have something important happening in their life because you made your choice.
It's a 'lifestyle' they don't agree with,
a choice i made,
it would have been better if i i was dead,
if they would have known before they went to adopt me they would not have picked me!
I can forgive you mother,
but i will never, as long as i live, forget the look on your face that day.
I know you still feel it,
i hear it in your voice on the phone,
it's never been the same.
You will no longer have the privilege of my whole heart,
or my whole attention because you choose to pick only the parts that fit within you bible..
I still have the file 'mom and dad hate letters' i have had them almost 6 years now...
But I still have love, with my partners arms wrapped around me
every day a smile,
every day a laugh,
unconditional,
now that is love!

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