Life is precious

My new year started with news that my aunt was diagnosed with pancreatic & liver cancer. They were hopeful that 6 treatments of chemo would be able to help reduce some of the cancer. Having dealt with pancreatic cancer enough in my life I knew that the outlook was not good but I was hoping that it would do the trick.

Over the last couple of weeks she has gotten her chemo, but it was not easy for her and her treatments would get postponed. Over the last week she became very weak and was brought into the hospital for further testing. It was determined yesterday that the cancer has actually grown & they have decided to stop treatment. Today she is being flown by private jet back to MI where she will be entering hospice care.

Many a childhood memory of going over to Aunt Alma & Uncle Rog’s house…going up to their cabin and being together. I am still trying to process everything, but it has brought up some strange emotions in me.

As my parent’s age I become more and more aware that my time with them is very limited. My father turns 75 next week. 75…that’s pretty good. He is in very good health, keeps active and seems very happy these days. But I can’t help but put myself in my cousin’s position, that some day I will be dealing with the end-of-life issues and saying good-bye. Maybe it’s being adopted that has skewed my perception but I feel like I am just 1 step from being an orphan. I know once my father is gone the strained relationship between my mother and I will just fall apart. Since I live farther away from my family I almost feel like I am not a part of it – I don’t get told about family gatherings or times that I might be able to try and make them. I feel very much like an outsider in my own family. I don’t think that moving away helped that situation at all since I don’t see my family anymore. Last time I was at a function for my dad’s side was in 2005 and 2000 for my mothers side.

On top of all of this if you haven't noticed there are thousands and thousands of people gathering at our capitol to protest a bill by the horrendous Governor. Since I do not get on my political soapbox often I will not do it here either...but lets just say that I think things are going to get worse before they get better. I also think that this is just the beginning of other states also having their own revolution and I am scared for this state and this country. If we cannot figure out a way to not drive one group to poverty while letting those that are better off run away with more this country is in for some rough days ahead.

I wish for safety to all of my friends that are letting their voices be heard on the capitol this week...stay strong and stay safe my friends.
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