Half-Pint

I realized today that it has been a while since I have written anything on here so I thought I would catch up on the past few days. Hockey has been awesome! I don't really know how to put it into words, it was a lifesaver for me. It has given me something to be a part of again, I didn't realize just how much I missed being an athlete. I find myself striving to be better..although I find myself striving for that in almost everything now days. It is extremely scary to try something new, to branch out from your comfort zone and put oneself out there. But the people I have meet are such wonderful individuals, folks I have probably seen over the years but never talked to before. The house buying process is interesting, we looked at 6 homes on Sunday, only 1 or 2 decent ones. In fact I drove by 1 of them again tonight, just to get a feel in the dark. I actually like this one, but I don't want to make a rush decision and just like the one I saw first. So, by nature, my lack of d...

Things have been rather nuts lately, taking a lot of call, playing hockey, working new hours that I don't like. I need about 10 more hours a day and a few extra days a week! But in all hustle and bustle where does time go? This weekend I am going to Great America with some hockey players which I am very excited about. I absolutely LOVE roller coasters and do not get to indulge in this very often. Anyway, extremely excited here!! Sunday is another exciting day for me, going out with the realtor to look at houses. I think we have about 4 places lined up so far it will be busy. Then I have the late game for hockey. Last week's hockey game was a blast! I am so thankful for the events that led up to me joining. It's hard to believe that last year at this time I had just started what was to become my final year of college (oh yeah 12 years!!) and trying to decide how to buy a bike for the Aids ride. Now, 1 year later I have my first act ride under my belt, my first hockey seaso...

Today is the kind of day that I guess I should have just stayed in bed! It actually all started this weekend when some little felon broke into one of our cars and stole a wallet. Fortunately, they were not smart enough to open the trunk where there was a hunting bow among other things.  So, yesterday morning was spent calling the bank and various other credit agencies putting fraud alerts out and closing accounts. So all seemed to be okay by last night...that was until it was time to get ready for work this morning. First there was no hot water, can't be that hard to light the pilot light right? So I mosey out there in my robe with my mag light (I know what your thinking, I looked SO cute!) Rather than trying to figure out how to light the damn thing, I notice a lovely leak flowing freely from a pipe. Not a big deal I say, call the landlord. Since he lives upstairs, I can hear exactly where he is in the house so not a problem I give him a call. My landlord bein...

I thought I would write this down before I forgot anything. It was very vivid and felt almost real! I was on the Act ride I believe, we were all in a field at a pit stop. Scanning the faces around me, some were easily recognizable, so were people from hockey and others I know that I knew, however, I don't know their names. Somehow I knew we were being held hostage because there was a woman that was ordering me around that I really did not like. I kept glaring at her and plotting ways to overthrow her control on us. As we were being led into an area to put our lunches I noticed that it was getting significantly colder. When we entered the next room we were standing before a huge iceberg floating in a pond (think of the zoo), and then all of us were walking around on it. This was where I was able to put some names to the faces, I think my old roommate Dawn was out there, Gerry, Bri, Paula. Those guys were all out in the water, almost swimming around, and the rest of us were way up on...

Well I was asked again tonight to do another shoot for Our Lives Magazine , which I am completely stoked about! This time, I will get to go down State Street so at least there is not a long drive. I am sure that this shoot will take me a full day since I tend to people watch a lot and enjoy my time down on state street. There are 7 places I can choose to visit, and most of them are new to me so this will be a riot. In other news, Sunday night is the first game for hockey. Last week we were able to take the ice with our teams and practice for a little while. I must admit, I felt so lost out there! But I know with each week we will improve and learn how to be more efficient out there. I am somewhat interested in learning defense, but I think my skating skills need to improve first. I just don't need the glory of scoring, however, I like the idea of protecting the goal. But time will tell!!

I just walked in the door from meeting with a realtor, and we are starting to look for a house. This was something that I have wanted for a long time, yet somehow I didn't think I would ever be at that point. I remember saying right before we walked in that I was very nervous, as soon as I met Sherry that instantly melted those butterflies away. As we got back into the car, we looked at each other and the only thing we said was "here we go." To think that I can have my own driveway, with my own lawn...no one to hear climb up their stairs, or pissing in the toilet!! A place that I can call my own, and it is the biggest decision I have ever made. I have wondered if we will be treated like every other couple looking for a home of their own. With that being said, our real estate agent is a little firecracker! She is a take no crap, take down names and keep movin kind of lady. I think she will be the perfect to help us choose our starter home. She has promised this to be a fu...

Today was a journey into my own mind, and the Starved Rock State Park in IL. We walked over 6 miles of some of the most beautiful, thought-provoking  scenery I have seen in a long time. Although it was my folks and I, we would run into people along the trails, have a chance to climb some canyons and just take in the beauty of nature. But along the way, we would have to stop so my dad could take some breaks and I began to think again. I am fortunate to have my father in my life, even in it's limited capacity, and I treasure this relationship. For 30 years he has been the man in my life, my voice of wisdom and strength. But today I began to see the tides turning. Although I have before thought about what it will be like someday without my father, today I actually pondered those thoughts. I found myself taking an exorbitant amount of pictures just to capture these moments for myself. I hope that is not too selfish. So now I sit here in the dark, very thankful that I had a g...

This time of year one hears a lot about national coming out day  which happens to fall this week. So I decided that it would be a good time to share my story as well. I spent the day yesterday retracing my first few months in Madison down on State Street. When I first moved here I really did not have anywhere to go and I certainly didn't know anyone, so I would spend hours walking down the street and watching people. Many times I would sit and write or read, I find that this was one of the most creative periods of my life. Anyway, it amazed me then, and I felt it yesterday, that even around so many people a person can feel so alone. I knew long ago that I was gay, I would say early teens. Unfortunately, where I grew up and in my family, being gay was one of the biggest taboos that one could be. Growing up in such a religious family and area, diversity was not high on the list of things encouraged. When I finally accepted myself I was resigned to ...

  Track star Marion Jones admits doping before 2000 Sydney Games - Olympics - Yahoo! Sports Growing up I admired women like Jackie Joyner Kersee and Florence Griffith Joyner aka Flo Jo. These women were the track stars that I wanted to be like some day. Their blazing records and pictures I would plaster on my walls and talk about at track practice. I remember watching the Olympics late at night, dreaming of my day in the lights. I can only imagine the kids of today that looked up to their hero Marion Jones. It is sad that girls don't have that to look up to anymore. The normal "everyday" woman will have to start showing kids that everyone can be a hero. By having a sponsorship with Nike or Adidas does not mean you are deserving of respect or honor.

So is it wrong that I am wishing it was Friday and it is only Monday night?! I have just been in this funk lately and I am trying to pull myself up and out of it. Nothing seems to be working though, hopefully this is just momentary pause in life to pay attention to my surroundings and to help steer me in the right direction. Not that she reads my musings on here but my cousin Manda had a baby yesterday. Congratulations!! That actually had me thinking just now..where would I be if I never left the Jenison MI area.. would I also be married with children of my own?! Is that the life that "would have been" had I not been able to find myself? I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, you make choices, meet people and have certain events happen in your life for a purpose. What would I say to myself if I could go back in time. Would I make the same choices if I knew the outcomes? Would I just tell myself that I would be alright, that there is a light at the end of the...

I was not intending to get up and write on here first thing this morning. Something has been weighing on my mind lately, and perhaps it is just because I am feeling worn out and just tired. I feel like I am living to work these days and not working to live. I love what I do for a job, helping restore people's sight is a wonderful reason to get up in the morning. But with the amount of on-call, coordination and regular work I am just losing steam. I know I am getting worn out because I am getting sick more often and I usually have an immune system like a tank. But what do you do? When does a job go from simply work to something you enjoy and look forward to? I am so envious of people that just LOVE their jobs, they enjoy going to work every day. I have not had that in many years. The best job I ever had was when I was working at a cell phone company call center. It allowed me to stretch my imagination, move around throughout the company and challenge myself in new roles. U...

Ever have one of those days that you are surrounded by people yet feel completely alone, like you are observing life instead of living?! The house is full of people, yet nobody's home. everybody's here and I'm all alone calling out your name, but there's no answer. Perhaps it's the weather, kind of gray and rainy, a stay in bed kind of day. It is actually put me in a mood to write again. There have been bits-n-pieces of my poems swirling around my brain lately.

In one word that is how I would describe how I felt taking the ice for skills practice today. Not excited, nervous or scared, just plain petrified. My knees were literally shaking. I have never been in that type of situation in relation to an athletic adventure before. When I initially looked at the breakdown of individuals in my group for the skills clinics I was nervous because most of the names I did not recognize. I had gotten so used to certain faces on the ice each week it was hard to believe that was an entirely different group that would be out there. So once again I found myself trying to look for friendly faces only to find more apprehension in their own. Fortunately, when the first group was done Tim sat next to me and shared that he felt the same way when he started. It was nice to know that others have felt the same as I was today. But once we hit the ice it was a completely different ball game. I went from petrified to humbled very quickly. The skills I thought I had a h...

I thought today was going to be a great day, having the drive out to Sauk for the magazine shoot, which went really well..then some hockey and ending the day with work. Once I got back to Madison I was really looking forward to hockey. But, since it was game day downtown was NUTS! I could not find a place to park and got so frustrated after 1/2 hour I ended up driving back home. I think that set the tone for the rest of the day because I just feel kind of blah! Not in the mood to do much, nor am I all together happy today..just blah!

Have you ever heard the saying that people come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime? I think I have had a lot of that happening lately, sort of fate smackin you in the face with something. With the Aids Ride and now Hockey I feel that I have met some pretty special people, and it feels like I met them when I was supposed to met them. Does that make any sense? Here is an example. I am enjoying the "budding photographer" title now, wrapping my arms around a fun hobby that I would love to turn into something a little more. So a girl at work asks me one day to shoot her wedding next year. Um, are you sure? Was my reply. But I did say yes! The next incident was meeting Patrick on the hockey team. He is a super sweet guy that seems to have some strong business sense. While we were hanging out on Saturday night he was telling me about a magazine that he has just started up. The first of it's kind that has no alcohol or sex ads in them! Anyway, the magazine is ca...

Most people that have known me for a while have learned that I have parents slightly older than most. My father is going on 73, and mom turns 60 tomorrow (Happy Birthday Mom!) Over the years I have come to understand that eventually they will age, and I will begin to worry about their health or their well being. I can already see this happening as they make certain purchases and decide to call me first or they call to ask my opinion. I was also reminded of this when almost 2 years ago I had to take an emergency flight to Pensacola Fl. where my dad was going to have a quadruple bypass. So, this morning while I get a phone call from my mom.. she said "I don't suppose your dad told you I fell yesterday." Now you would have to know my mom to understand why this scared me a little bit. 1. Mom is one of the healthiest people I know. She has taken vitamins most of my life, and she is just usually healthy- never sick 2. She has only been "injured" 1 time that I can ...

What makes two people enter into a relationship? And for that matter what makes them stay in it? How do you have people that have been together or married for decades? Even my own parents are celebrating their 38th wedding anniversary. So what is that key, the glue that keeps these people together while others can't seem to last long enough to meet the family?! Is it that couples start learning everything about each other and no longer share any new or exciting experiences? Or perhaps the goals have shifted from thinking of a way to impress your partner and now everyone is so tired at the end of the day its just time to go to bed...for sleep. How do you keep that flirtation feeling? How do you start to re-appreciate your partner and those qualities that made you fall in love in the first place. I think the best answer that I have found..you have got to work at it. Being in a relationship is not easy, and there might be times that you wonder what you are doing..if you are still h...

I know you are singing the song right?! ha! Every now and then I like to just do some things by myself. "Jenn time" as I call it, perhaps its from being an only child and I learned to have a creative imagination because I was always with adults or just used to having my own space. But my time alone is almost as important as time spent with those that I love. So I think I am going on a date with myself at some point this weekend, dinner (Pho) and a movie (new Jodie Foster flick... The Brave One ) It really doesn't get any better let me tell ya! Quiet time to reflect on life and things going on in life is so important. I don't think we as a society ever find enough time to reflect. We are so busy trying to get from point A to point B faster, more efficiently that we do not stop to observe the moments that are happening around us each day. And before you know it, the moment has passed you by.

I am so excited it's Friday! I am a little upset about the fact that I will be working 930-6pm every Friday this month however, it's better than working later that's for sure! I don't have a ton planned for the weekend although time seems to slip away faster on Saturday or Sunday than any other day during the week. But I am looking forward to our Stick Taping Party on Sunday. This is our last event (or first one depending on how you look at it) before next Sunday our skills clinics start. Should be great! I am trying to find some time to go for Pho this weekend as well..looking for a good excuse to get out to the west side..might not be that tough tomorrow. TGIF...make it a good one.

okay I know that is it somewhat silly that I would be posting something about being able to stop on the ice but I am very excited tonight. I came prepared, wearing some running pants with my shin guards underneath. It began with some direction from my fellow team members on sliding this foot and sliding that one, attempting to figure out which foot should be my anchor skate. After some initial reluctant tries, and of course some spills..I was able to get a stop out..then another..and soon I was going all around the rink stopping on each line. Now, you won't see the huge arch of ice as I stop quickly..and there might be a slight wobble..but I can at least stop!! And after our ice time, I got a a couple of hugs from some great guys and that ended my night wonderfully! I think people are right, this is a great group of people!!