I promise
Almost 2 years ago I made a promise. I promised my mother-in-law that I would make sure that Loni was able to travel and see all the things that Deb had wanted to but never did herself. In 5 days I will be able to start living up to that promise with our trip to Las Vegas. We will follow that up with going down to Texas for the holidays and our cruise to Alaska the first part of 2012. We are at a point now that sometimes we can talk about Deb and we can laugh about something that she would have loved to hear, or a memory she would have loved to relive. It’s hard to believe that it’s been 2 years already – here is something that I read to Deb during the time that I shared when she was in the hospital – no one else was in the room, it was “my time” with Deb:
I don’t know if it’s true that people can still hear in this situation, I don’t know if your brain is still processing what is happening all around you, if you know that we are here. I do know what I have seen, I know based on my training that things don’t look good. I know that the organ procurement team has been here, they left a post-it on the wall – I asked your nurse to take it down. I made a call to my co-workers today and there has been a call into them already, they are following your case. Everyone is looking to me to interpret what the Doctors are saying, you have a fantastic Doctor by the way, everything I know is telling me what the outcome will be and I want you to keep fighting. This is the one time that I wish I didn’t know what I know.
I promise that I will take care of Loni for as long as I live. I will take her to all those places that you wanted to go, I will make sure that can experience anything in life that she wants to. I will make sure she is happy and I will make sure that she has every experience in life that you never had.
I count myself as a lucky person to have known you for so long, we will make sure that your grand-kids never forget was a wonderful person that Nana was and how much you loved them.
I promise that any time I get down on myself and forget to live life to its fullest I will think of you. You don’t need to worry about Loni, she will be okay, she will be all that you dreamed for her.
I promise.
I don’t know if it’s true that people can still hear in this situation, I don’t know if your brain is still processing what is happening all around you, if you know that we are here. I do know what I have seen, I know based on my training that things don’t look good. I know that the organ procurement team has been here, they left a post-it on the wall – I asked your nurse to take it down. I made a call to my co-workers today and there has been a call into them already, they are following your case. Everyone is looking to me to interpret what the Doctors are saying, you have a fantastic Doctor by the way, everything I know is telling me what the outcome will be and I want you to keep fighting. This is the one time that I wish I didn’t know what I know.
I promise that I will take care of Loni for as long as I live. I will take her to all those places that you wanted to go, I will make sure that can experience anything in life that she wants to. I will make sure she is happy and I will make sure that she has every experience in life that you never had.
I count myself as a lucky person to have known you for so long, we will make sure that your grand-kids never forget was a wonderful person that Nana was and how much you loved them.
I promise that any time I get down on myself and forget to live life to its fullest I will think of you. You don’t need to worry about Loni, she will be okay, she will be all that you dreamed for her.
I promise.
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